It’s a typical night at the firehouse, every one is asleep
or trying to, some are tossing and turning not knowing when the next call will
come in. A wall separates both sleeping quarters. On one side I can hear the
movement of one of the guys who’s bed parallels mine. Is getting late and a
full day awaits me in the morning so my hope is to get some decent sleep. But
tonight is way different than any other night. As I begin to fall asleep; I get
this horrible sensation of heaviness on my body. I can’t move I am not sure if
I am awake or asleep but I can feel the heaviness on my body keeping me
paralyze to the bed. Fear enters my mind and a bit of desperation sets in. I want to go back to sleep and I want to wake
up at the same time. I have been tired like this before but his time is way
different.
A feeling of a dark hooded image is leaning forward next to
my bed. It’s like if I could see it but I can’t make any sense of if. It is a
strange sensation of being paralyzed and fear, in one. I can’t see its face or
body but I feel as if this thing was stretching its arms across my body and
swinging them form my chest to my legs. It repeats this motion a few times.
A different image and presence enters the room from atop and
side of the headboard, but this one is peaceful, wearing white. I can’t see its face either, but it demands
the dark thing that still leaning over me to stop
and to leave. A few more words are hear “ One year”. And just as each came they
both disappeared. My body is light again, I can feel the heaviness leave me and
I can tell I am fully awake. I began to pray and had no more fear. Like many
nights before; I fall asleep praying. What was that? The question still remains.
I do hope it was just some bad firehouse cooking.
Fast-forward four months, is late June early July. A
promotional opportunity presents; a gift from God I thought. Money is tight and
things keep breaking at the house. There is a good gap between tailboard (firefighter)
pay and Lieutenant pay. The extra cash would help with expenses but most
important it will expedite my mission trip to Guatemala. We missed the
opportunity last June. We were bombed about but we kept the faith. We knew God
would open the door and if it were His will we would go soon. Our church is the
home church for an amazing family that is just in love with orphans and special
needs kids. They have been serving in Guatemala for right about a year. A few nights before the big interview; I was
back at the firehouse about to go to sleep, prying; asking God to let His will
be done. The promotion would be good but if it was not His will I would be just
as happy. I asked Him to reveal His will to me, what ever it was. All I thirst
for is to serve Him in any thing He would will for me. Well here comes the
interesting part. That same night, it was past midnight, and in a dream I see
something that I still keep praying for and keep questioning. I am in an open
land hill like terrain and in a powering motion here comes a large white pole,
stake like, type object. Like symbolizing a marker, a beginning point, a from
this point forward, a this is where we start, I don’t know but I felt like it
meant change, a new direction, marking the turf. Immediately after a voice type
feeling, sound, image simply states “YOUTH” and that is exactly how I saw it all cap.
I woke up; and I am like, what was that?
I try to go back to sleep and pray and have continue to pray with out
ceasing. I continue to ask God for assurance, help, wisdom, and guidance and every
time I do, well some thing happens.
An old partner from a previous job, whom I have not seen or
heard from him in over 10 years, finds me on a picture that was tagged with
several other people. I had posted this picture a few weeks before for no
particular reason. He was a good Christian man, a great dad and excellent husband
last time I saw him. He was always kind and mentored me as I began my fire and ems
career. Later we both took different jobs
and failed to keep in touch. Well he gave up being a flight medic a couple of
years ago and is now in full time ministry. He is a pastor for a church that is
few hours away from my home. He also does missionary work in Egypt and in
Mexico. He contacted me and we are to meet in a few days. We are to meet half
way from where I live and his home. I don’t know what roll if any’ he will play,
but I can’t wait to find out. The other day, I am not even finish prying asking
God for continue guidance, strength, wisdom and someone that could help me understand
scripture better and get deeper in the Word so I would be better fit to spread the
Gospel, well some one showed up. I do understand that there is no better way than
to be lead by the Holy spirit when it comes to getting to know God and getting closer to God, but I do trust that He provides us with His people and expects
us to count on one another and help each other grow
I am still not clear on the two dreams or whatever you want to
call them but I have gained a great conviction and passion on a project that
could impact many lives if it were to be fulfill. “I am my Brother’s Keeper” a
youth ministry for young men and women in Guatemala has been a constant thought
in my mind and heart for a few weeks now. To the point it has occupied just
about every thought in every second of the day. I love God and I praise Him
with every part of my soul. Christ gave it all for me so I could be righteous
in God’s eyes, wash me of my sins, and rescued me from my self. I whole heartedly trust and believe He planned and laid out a Call before me, and for His purpose.
There are just so many things that have being happening. And if this is only
the beginning, wow! I am going to hang on because; I know there is way more to
come. One day when I get Home; I pray I carried
out His will and not mine. Amen!
